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Shanda: The Making and Breaking of a Self-Loathing Jew
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Binding: Hardcover
Dewey Decimal Number: 296.092
EAN: 9780743213820
ISBN: 0743213823
Label: Touchstone
Manufacturer: Touchstone
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 224
Publication Date: August 17, 2004
Publisher: Touchstone
Studio: Touchstone
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Editorial Review:
Early in his memoir, Neal Karlen tells a rabbi, "I love Judaism. It's Jews I can't stand."
What he means is that he hates the parochialism and material trappings of the young Jews he knows: Their new temples are gilded and the parking lots spill over with luxury cars. Religion for them is a quest for a Jewish wife from "the right" family and a big house and splendid clothes. Gone is the soulful practice of tradition that his grandparents brought over from Russia. Karlen sees communities from New York to Los Angeles of Jewish status seekers and he can't stand the thought of being identified as one of them.
Frustrated and embarrassed, Karlen stops looking for the Jewish enclave that fits him and, for the next ten years, simply rejects Judaism. He antagonizes rabbis. He becomes the token Jew among his Midwestern friends and the buffoon at cocktail parties with a shtick of Jewish jokes and imitations that cross the line. And then one day, Karlen goes too far: he marries a blue-eyed Protestant from a family with an anti-Semitic bent. The marriage is doomed.
At midlife Karlen discovers that he belongs nowhere and that the Jew he really hates is himself. He is a shanda -- a shame.
Written with irreverent zest and poignancy, Shanda is Karlen's story of finding his way back to Judaism -- and the Jewish community. His guide is an unlikely one: Rabbi Manis Friedman, the renowned Hasidic scholar with a beard to his chest and a fedora that makes him look like "Sam Spade about to go out in the rain." The rabbi invites Karlen to study with him. In their weekly meetings devoted to scholarship and Jewish ritual, Karlen asks the questions that assimilated Jews grapple with, such as "How do we bring meaning to the practice of Judaism?" "Where is the line between Jewish and too Jewish?" and "What does it mean to be Jewish-American and ashamed by Judaism?" Rabbi Friedman leads Karlen up the mountain to find these answers -- and shows both author and reader the stunning view from the top.
Ultimately, this odd couple discovers what it means to be a good person -- not just a good Jew. At its heart, Shanda is about their surprising friendship and the ways that people change -- and change each other. At once hilarious and heartbreaking, it is a parable for anyone who has ever questioned his faith or has lost his way.
Customer Reviews
Average Rating: 
Rating:  - A bit disappointing
In many ways, I could relate to the author not feeling like a part of a congregation in the Minneapolis suburb he resides in. Congregations in suburban North Shore seemed similar to what the author experienced -- ornate and fashionable but not very warm. What's frustrating about this story, which is filled with some good Jewish humor, is that the author's journey just didn't seem all that realistic.
He's disconnected from Judaism, in fact, he loathes it and practically himself for being ... Read More
Rating:  - A fantastic journey
This is a must read for all people who struggle with religion and have to deal with the "fakers" who give religion a bad name.
You don't have to be Jewish to understand Neal's journey back to the fold.
In my personal life, my wife and I struggle with those who forget what religion means. Karlen sums it all up with the "It's not Judaism that I don't like; it's the Jews." He follows up with his quest to me a "mentsch," which is Yiddish for an upstanding person. My wife and I couldn't ... Read More
Rating:  - Wasn't quite clear to me where he was coming from
I agree in particular with what reviewer Adamchik aready stated about this book. The book would be more understandable to me if Karlen came from a less knowledgeable background. In fact, it's difficult to ascertain whether his background is Orthodox, Conservative, or somewhere inbetween. While there are people who were raised Orthodox who go "off the derech", that doesn't totally appear to be the case here. And then, Rabbi Friedman takes over the story. I've had the priviledge of hearing him speak - he ... Read More
Rating: - Honest and moving
This is an honest and moving account of a man's journey away from and back to his Jewish roots. It's a story of redemption, and of the restoration of a father-son relationship.
You don't need to be Jewish (or speak Yiddish) to enjoy this book. In fact, gentiles may find that this book helps them understand some of the challenges and contradictions faced by modern Jews who seek to connect with their ancient faith.
Karlen's very conversational writing style makes this book an easy read. ... Read More
Rating: - Dating Advertisement
I read the book. I kept thinking throughout, this guy is lonely, single, in his 40's, redeeming himself in the hope of finding a nice jewish wife.
I don't really believe most of his account.
This could have been posted on eharmony.
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